Courage

The word courage has been coming up in my life for about a year or so.  I haven't exactly known what it means or how or why it might apply to me.  To me courage means to be strong and heroic.  I hardly ever feel strong and heroic.  It would seem though for one to live an authentic life, one needs courage.  I would like to lead an authentic life.  One where I can be myself and speak my mind and help others.  I have at least 5 books on my night stand right now.  I am somewhere in the middle of each of them.  I read so much and try to glean something I can use in my daily life, or find out something about myself that I can improve.  If nothing else I have become acutely aware of my imperfections and toxic patterns.  I do have trouble actually changing my behaviors and thoughts in a positive way.  I want to do it, I really do, but something about knowing I won't be perfect might be keeping me from even trying.  One book I am reading is called The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown.  She discusses courage.

"I realized that courage is on of the most important qualities that Wholehearted people have in common.  And not just any kind of courage; I found that Wholeheartedness requires ordinary courage.  Here's what I mean...
The root of the word courage is cor--the Latin word for heart.  In one of its earliest forms, the word courage had a very different definition than it does today.  Courage originally meant "To speak one's mind by telling all one's heart."  Over time, this definition has changed, and today, courage is more synonymous with being heroic.  Heroics is important and we certainly need heroes, but I think we've lost touch with the idea that speaking honestly and openly about who we are, about what we're feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad) is the definition of courage.  Heroics is often about putting our life on the line.  Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line.  In today's world, that's pretty extraordinary."

She goes on to describe a situation with her daughter wanting to come home from  a sleep over and how she commended her on her courage for knowing she wasn't ready and asking to go home.  Knowing ourselves certainly sounds courageous.  I have trouble finding the right words in situations like this with my own children and husband at the time it is happening.  I am typically judging, irritated, and say all the wrong things.  I feel like I am on the right path, knowing where I go wrong, the Greater Becoming of me will be when I can shift my perspective, my words, my actions that are more in line with my values.  That will take courage.